summer
It creeps all over the house.
I find it hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the parlor, hiding in the hall, lying in wait for me on the stairs.
It gets into my hair.
summer is a strange season for me. as a young kid, my parents would send me to a summer camp. it was really fun then. i would bring a copy of super smash bros brawl and play it on the group wii with the other kids. we’d go bowling, or to the beach, or to a museum. it was, well, fun. i had a lot of fun then and there even though i was an asshole kid.
after around fifth grade though, summers started to become miserable. i was the target of frequent bullying in elementary school so my parents chose to send me to a different one. it was an hour-long bus ride away. i now knew no one, and slowly, my old friends vanished from my life.
the small amount of new friends i had made were a car ride away from me, and my dad, the sole driver of the family, would take the sole car in the home to his job. i was relegated to exclusively inhabit my neighborhood, a place now foreign to me.
so, i did what many lonely, poor gen z kids did. i binged internet content and played an elephant-shit-ton of videogames. i would talk to saints and freaks alike. nothing “bad” happened to me---at least, nothing significantly worse than what the average preteen on the internet experiences. the main thing was the loneliness. i was bored out of my mind and alone with my thoughts every. single. day. i’d call it a prison of my own making, but it was moreso a prison cell i just happened to step into, rather than creating from scratch. merely a symptom of shit life syndrome™.
it’s kind of funny; i lived the covid lifestyle years pre-lockdown and a social one post.
It is the strangest yellow, that wallpaper! It makes me think of all the yellow things I ever saw—not beautiful ones like buttercups, but old foul, bad yellow things.
